Me Me Me and a few of you you you

Where has the time gone....

2010-05-04T23:36:00.003-05:00

Yet again its been forever since I blogged
But I am on the cusp of summer and sooooOOOhhhh looking forward to it

The revolution will be televised

2009-01-19T23:24:00.006-05:00

Can't believe it - 2009

An official congrats & good luck to Mr. Obama (sorry won't be in DC - to many people, to much po po - just to see a speck) I'll catch in on cable - I guess the revolution will be televised.
2nd - Happy B-day to my sister Jan. 17th (....and me Jan. 5th - gifts accepted)
Its time for a personal change:

I need to reconnect with myself & the spirit of this blog.

I've worked my a$$ of this past year
Created an award winning ethno-documentary / I won an award for it
Taught 4 classes each semester
Took a class each semester, including - the statistics class from he!!

- the professor was sexist, racist and God knows what else. I fully expected him to say "silly girls can't do statistics"

- I did ANOVA's, MANOVA's, MANOCA's, Wilks Lambda's and Discriminant function. (never heard of the above? that's all I need to say).

I think I'm suffering some serious burnout and with the start of the semester, I am completely committed to regaining my equilibrium.

This semester:

-Keeping it real(istic)

-Study for comps

- Work out, get my piliates on

-ROP

-Writing, publishing

-Relaxing

-Volunteering

- OM Film and Arts Festival

-Personal life here I come

Megabus

2008-06-06T22:38:00.002-05:00

New York was GREAT!

I hit the Schomburg Center for Research on Black Culture

I got an Access card so I can use the collection all summer

Then I hit Hue-Mans Bookstore in Harlem, it was also great

There was a book signing going on, I caught a little of it

Then I went to see President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, the first Black Woman president of an African country.

It was fabulous, I got pix and video - maybe I'll post some here

It was the best 50 cents I ever spent!!!

Totally digg'n Megabus

(It reminded me of the time I spent $5 bux and went to the 5 Spot in Philly - The Roots, Music and Bilal were there for an impromptu jam session)

Sum sum summer time

2008-06-03T22:45:00.003-05:00

I'm giddy with the summertimeness
I can't believe its here *sniff sniff*

I've been enjoying the down time
Starting my summer projects:
Work on the office (home) , Work in the office (dissertation), Work on me

Heading off to NY tomorrow for the day
I'm taking the Megabus from Philly to New York my round trip ticket was 50 cents!!!
(I'll have to blog about how it goes - they may make me hang off the back of a hay wagon)

Summer Movies:
Iron Man *****
Indian Jones ***
Wanted ****
The Incredible Hulk****
Get Smart
Hankcock0***
Dark Knight
Hellboy II

Long time no blog

2008-05-08T00:46:00.002-05:00

Its been forever since I blogged - that is a testament to how busy my life has been

Schools have been crazy - classes, classes, classes - teaching and taught

I have heard from the "guy with the girlfriend" but thats for another blog

Took moms to Europe

Became an Auntie (for the 5th time)

Suffering a little bit of burn out

AND

Can't wait for some downtime this summer

*Yaaaaah*

Single in the City

2007-07-14T22:38:00.000-05:00

I've been single for a while - in a way i feel "free", it feels like I'm taking a break, a relationship vacation or a hiatus

Lotta relationships - handful of years

Last one - didn't end so well / so now I find myself single for a significant amount of time

It was "easy" to remain single - now I think it's just habit

The easy part were the terrible dates and etc - Bad dates = easy to be single

There was just one after the other

The guy who had known me for three days and decided that entitled him to sex

The X who is stuck, he can't seem to move on after graduation (and he wasn't that great the first time around - and i wish he was)

There was the one that lied about having kids when I met him, we were on the phone

i said "what brought you to the city"

he said: "you know to be closer to the kids"

The one that lied over and over again about being in a relationship, After 6months i relented and to a date only to find out that he had a girlfriend

So now I have to decide whether or not to continue to enjoy my own company or invite others to the party.

A biscuit short

2007-06-20T21:50:00.000-05:00

Why are people crazy?

(Not in a medically / brain chemical / legal manner way)

I keep bumping into this guy and he's a stone cold nut,

Ordinarily - not a problem, just avoid and evade

BUT

I see him on campus and other places (to many other places)

If I stopped to think about it, I might wonder at the number of coincidences

I'm not saying that everyone needs to be the same

I'm saying - If your behavior is the extreme opposite of everyone else ....

that might be a problem

Asking someone a question and then singing their reply over and over again - Nutty

*sigh*

I told my mother that if I go missing - they should check this dude's closest

She said "maybe he just needs a friend"

(That's a mother for your)

Maybe I'm just a nut magnet- 'cause this guy is definitely a biscuit short of a dozen

Slacker

2007-06-16T22:41:00.001-05:00

I am officially a slacker this summer

Ok - not really, it just feels like it; 'specially after the fall/spring semesters

(i worked my a$$ off)

But right now - I sleep in / stay up late and (luxury of luxuries)

I read for pleasure (not just school)

I'm still a TA - teaching my own class but I have just a few students

So, I'm going to kick back and enjoy my brief respite

(insert sigh here)

Summer Movie - Midnight shows here i come!

Spider (part tres)
Fantastic 4
Pirates of the Caribbean
Transformers
Die Hard (the 4th)

What Would A Friend Do

2007-05-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

So, I have a friend (not in the 'its really me way' - a real friend)

She told me that she was ready to be with her former boyfriend / now boyfriend again

Ordinarily, 'Not a Problem'..... Unless....

There are a lot of "issues" with her situation... I won't put her business out there

But

I think she's settling and I'm not the only one

She's been 'single' for a while and made a bad decision or two (haven't we all)

I just think, she's 'afraid' to be alone / or is it doesn't want to be alone / or is it, she thinks she can't be alone?

So, she's settling for this yokel

And that brings us too - What would a friend do?

Do I support her in this decision
Do I tell her what I really think
Do I do nothing

Right now, I'm working with option three. Its hard to be alone, how can I tell her to drop the yokel and face the possibility of being alone. I can't, so I guess option three will have to do for now, until she finally reads my blog.

(maybe this is what friends do)

Today is the 1st day.....

2007-05-11T17:38:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of my Summer!

I won't say vacation because I'm teaching Summer school

(at a major university on the east coast)

I'm a grad student - I'll be TA'ing this summer

But, the great thing about it is - its my own class.

I am the queen of my own 'castle'

(if by castle you mean tiny classroom, openless windows and subzero AC).

Impossible 2 Get

2007-04-18T00:20:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, I had 1 date with a lier. He told me that he didn't have a girlfriend - turns out he did... So, of course he got the BIG A$$ brush off. I told him (before we went out - in the 6months that he wore me down) that I had no desire to the 'other woman'. I reiterated this, when I found out he did indeed have a girlfriend. So, why is he calling me?

I'm not sure what he wants.

I don't accept his phone calls but I'll admit to occasionally reading the texts that he sends

(I don't reply)

A few months ago, I told him, via text that he needed to stop contacting me.

He said: I just want you friendship, your not mature enough to be my friend, if its not your way its no way?

I said: Be friends with your girlfriend

He didn't like this much and stopped trying to contact me for a while..... until tonight. He sent a text.

*Sigh* People always want what they can't have. So I suppose now its the whole challenge thing. I suspects that he thinks I'm playing "Hard to Get" without understanding that for him, I'm not playing and I'm "Impossible to Get".

Married and Waiting

2007-04-09T22:12:00.000-05:00

What is it with Marriage?!

I bumped into a colleague at the library last night 6 hours into a 10 hour study/work session
(yeah it's that deep)

He told me that he was considering spending the night in the library, as his train was going to stop running for the night

I offered to drive him home at midnight, if he wanted to get some more work done and he took me up it

A little while later he started telling me the why he was rebelling

His wife was 'tripping'
He couldn't wait to get 'rid of her' and be 'a free young man again'
This was his second marriage, and he was silly to do it a 2nd time
He'll be married two years this September (isn't he still a newlywed?)

But the icing on this very sad cake:

If my wife locks me out.... where do YOU stay

I kept wondering - Does your Wife know all this or Maybe you should be talking to her or Do I really want to drive you home so she can see my car.........

My friend asked me if I thought he liked me - I told her that I was operating under a NO to that questions

I guess I have commitment issues - I can't even commit to a TV series (I started out watching Grey's Anatomy). Lets just say this kinda stuff isn't helping.

BatGirl

2007-03-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

When I was 5 years old - I wanted to be Bat Girl! She rode a motercycle and kicked A$$!

Everyday after school (pre), I'd watch the (cheesy and antiquated) reruns on what is now the CW.

As Halloween approached, my mother searched (at my behest) for the coveted Batgirl costume. My older sister had her desired Wonder Woman costume but Batgirl was nowhere to be found

My mother offered substitutes but I would not relent and insisted that if I could not get the Batgirl costume, she didn't have to buy any.

My solution - I had blue sheet at home that functioned perfectly well as my cape, and with proper adjustment, it would serve as my costume. I mean, my imagination and acrobatic displays should be enough to let the world know that I was ---- BATGIRL.

At school the next day, the preschoolers were to dress in costume and have a "parade" for the older children (K - 5th graders).

When I arrived at school the aids were unpacking costumes. I waited in line to have my costume unpacked and to be dressed. I was late (thanks mom) so I was the last one.

I guess this is the moment I became aware - not aware in the childish sense

but my grown-up awareness

While I waited - I listened to the aids talk about the children's costumes. Laughing and disparaging the children who had the audacity to arrive with homemade costumes.

The laughed at the old clothes and mom's earrings masquerading as Gypsy and Pirate wear. There was talk about which kid was poor or which kid's mom was late with tuition.

At 5 yrs old, I thought - this can't be right. Why are they making fun of kids who, by their own words, couldn't afford costumes. I thought maybe they were like me and their mom's couldn't find the right costume.

With my 5 year old sense of justice and indignation fired up --- I stonily stared at the aids and when my tum came to be dressed, I handed over my book bag. They repeatedly asked me about my costume and how to apply it ---- silence. They spoke quickly among themselves, was I an African Princess - the blue sheet was wrapped around my waist. Perhaps I was a nun - we were in a Catholic school ---- more silence. They finally gave up.

At the parade, I sat in the audience among the aids --- I watched my friends on stage. They were Proud and Happy... but among the aids - I listen as they ripped apart the costumes, the old hand-me-downs, the cardboard creative concoctions and the old droopy clothing given new life in the imagination of some kid.

... And I became the person I am today. At that time I didn't have the words to speak up but I do now.

Am I my brothers keeper - or the keeper of his girlfriend

2007-03-15T12:50:00.000-05:00

While having lunch with someone the other day, the topic of relationships came up.

He blithly informed me that he was sleeping with 2 women who had 'boyfriends'

I'm not big into infidelity

He said he didn't think of himself as a cheat but that he wasn't responsible for the relationships of those women. Besides he didn't have time to devote to a 'relationship'.

I am big into Karma

He said that he couldn't even say that he would Never cheat on his wife, just like he couldn't say that he would Never try crack.

I thought What the #$!@

... and to think, I almost ditched him on this lunch thing

Can't Argue with Married

2007-03-07T23:56:00.000-05:00

So... yesterday a man told me I was beautiful

It wasn't the first time I heard that, it seems that men like to randomly tell me that I'm beautiful - and I'm not complaining.

Yesterday, on my way into the mall.... this guy swerved across the street - into the opposite facing lane and said 'excuse me'

For some reason I thought his urgency was due to needing directions - I was at the insanely far out Neshaminy Mall (far from Philly).

Me: "Yes?"

Him: "I just had to tell you - your really Beautiful"

Me: "Uhm (nervous, looking around for others), thank you"

Him: "Do you think I could get to know you"

Me: "I'm married" (Not really but it just seemed easier this way - how can you argue with married, besides my hands were in my pocket - it was cold)

Him: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Its kinda hard to forget the whole wedding thing"

I can guess you argue with married....

Meanwhile - I told my sister

She said: "What were you wearing?"

Me: "A teddy and stiletto.... A pea coat and jeans it was 2 degrees outside, you goober!"

I scream to keep from crying

2007-02-22T00:41:00.000-05:00

I've been ranting about something for the past few weeks.

I think that I've been ranting to avoid - hurting about something for the past several weeks.

Someone once called me "overly moral" - is there such a thing? Because I was a little sad when a friend of mine started having sex (for the first time). What he (John) didn't understand was that my sadness for her - was due to all the responsibilities that come with having sex. There's birth control, safe sex and hoping that your partner is honest about or at least safe in his sex practices.

My rant these last few weeks comes courtesy of Cheyney University, or rather, the male students at Cheyney University.

For nearly a month, the male students at Cheyney University have maintained a drug addicted prostitute on campus; she performed sexual acts and received money.

Having been to Cheyney I know that anyone, not a student, must be maintained - meaning, there isn't McDonald's or WaWA or even a motel in walking distance. Every meal, every moment of sleep, every shower or anything had to be under the auspices of students - male students.

So, the story goes - she lived among the students, charging for sexual favors. At one point, it is said that she had a line of customers for blow jobs - for which she charged $5.

I can't really pinpoint the source of my pain, my hurt...

I don't know if its because they used her, passed her around and took advantage of her drug addicted state.

Perhaps its that - the prostitute was HIV positive. That she admitted to having unprotected sex with "at least 10" male students.

Maybe I hurt and I just want to be mad at these men.... these males who knowingly had unprotected sex with a drug addicted prostitute in the age of AIDS

I might be hurt for the girlfriends, 'baby mama's', finances, 'buddies', one nighters, or who ever else they'll have sex with...

I think that my ranting and raving is the protection I needed not to stare in the face of what WE are capable of, our stupidity and our cruelty

Good and Evil

2007-02-09T00:52:00.000-05:00

I had to ask myself what makes you a "good person"?

If you are a good father, give back to the community, attend church devoutly and believe and God - are you a good person.

Can you compartmentalize your good? If your a good father but lie to get what you want from another, does that balance out? Some would say, that is the definition of 'Human' - the balancing of positive and negative acts.

When I met him, he told me he didn't have a girlfriend. He did have children and had the appearance of a good father. We had a lot in common, felt the same way about the same things. We were even born a few days apart.

He said "Yes, I'm dating but she's not my girlfriend - you can ask her"

Today, I found out he had a girlfriend.

Yesterday, I told him - My father cheated on my mother, I don't want to be "that chick". The one on the side - the one a man cheats with.

He said "I wouldn't do that to you"

Today, I found out he has a girlfriend

So, I had to ask myself "what makes you a good person?"

I've decided - He's an ass and Not a good person, regardless of what he has done independent of knowing me.

Can you be a good father but not a good role model?

Can you be a devotee of Church and God and lie?

Can you say - To Hell with what you want, forget that you have no desire to participate in my cheating.....

My feelings are hurt, I admit.

Hurt because I've been let down by people, yet again. I guess I thought that if I was honest about not wanting to be with a cheat - he'd at least honor my wishes.

I think I've decided that he's not a good person, there are somethings that don't balance out but rather taint the good that you may do. Like modeling cheating behavior for you son. Lying to your girlfriend. Allowing your daughter to see, by your actions, that she shouldn't expect to be a person in her own right - just expect to play the role in some man's lie/life.

I guess within humans there are positive and negative acts - but there are acts that far out weigh another and have a lasting effect on your "future good"....

This might be one of those times.

Karma's a bitch

Karma and fruit juice

2007-01-24T23:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the universe told me I needed a Karma adjustment - not in so many words but in deed.

My guest lecturer bowed out and I found myself waking late for a class that I wasn't supposed to be attending

Upon shaking my orange juice, the top flew off and juice FLEW everywhere (I'm a rigorous shaker)

My regular parking lot wasn't accepting cash and I ended up parking to close to a hydrant (I was late after all)...... I got a ticket - Oddly enough I arrived at my car at 12:30 and my ticket was timed at 12:31

I drove to my second appointment and ran into construction traffic, which made me late for a meeting about a gig

Although I fed the meter, I had another ticket when I left.... my second of the day

AND then.... I tossed my bag into the car, the bottle of apple juice (not opened) decides to loose its top and spill..... all over everything - books, papers, mail and etc

So I've decided I need to check my Karma.... although none of this was life altering, I consider myself good at taking hints...

The Mad Blogger

I Don't Do Shout Outs

2007-01-17T22:47:00.001-05:00

I don't do shout outs but......

Today is my sister's birthday

Happy Birthday - Shannon!!!

(Capricorns all want to secretly rule the world

not because we're dictators but because we Know we'd do a good job)

Sex and Sensibility

2007-01-13T02:34:00.000-05:00

Recently someone told me they were giving up their celibacy. She told me that it was an outdated, mainstream and eurocentric value........... In that case; is having sex - modern, fringe and afrocentric?
There are a lot of people yelling and screaming about whose sex'n whom and etc. I think the abstinent only messages in public schools are irresponsible and hypocritical. There is sex in every aspect of american media, yet we tell teens to wait.

Frankly, I don't care who or what your sex'n... it comes down to safety.... and the point is --- Its Just Not Safe to sleep with multiple partners who have multiple partners. No kinda sex is worth my life or quality of life. Maybe celibacy is more modern than she thinks.

Meanwhile: I had a good day, busy but good. My mom's sick so after I played 'fetch and carry water girl'.... I managed to get some things done in my apartment - I'm content

the mad blogger

Helicopters and Big Brother

2007-01-07T00:33:00.000-05:00

So, I live in a high rise and today a helicopter flew by and shinned its light into my apartment. For a long minute they hovered. My view overlooks the a gated courtyard, I guess Philly PD likes to be voyeurs on weekends. It was.............................. disturbing. I live on the uppermost floors, so reason is there to shine a light into my apt?

Meanwhile - it was 72 today.

The Mad Blogger

Climate Change, Global warming and the elephant

2007-01-06T02:37:00.000-05:00

In Philly, the last few days have been like spring...... not just in a literary sense but literately.

Tomorrow its supposed to be 70! The local news potentates and weather smiling heads say "its great" and we should "appreciate it while its here" I say this is the giant elephant in the room the talking heads don't want to see.... How can this not be climate change or global warming or whatever catchy catch phrase is in vogue...

Cherry blossoms are blooming on Main Street Manayunk and the grass is growing...They say its only been 12 days of 70 degree and over weather in Philly in Jan since they've been recording it here..... Tomorrow would be the 13th, I'm betting that next year we'll see the 14th.

Who needs Arctic ice when you can get a hummer for around 30G's?

The Mad Blogger

Today is my birthday

2007-01-05T00:37:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday..........

Below is the stuff from my old Blog - A day in the life...

I hate to leave but I gotta go
So.... I'm leaving Atlanta. Why?There are lot of reasons I could give.... but the major one is that I feel the need to regroup.I've always believed that I ended up where I was supposed to be.... maybe this time I got the timing wrong. Right place wrong time, so I anticipate coming back to Atlanta one day but right now I need to go..... and I think I need to put some distance between me and someone else. He's in Tallahassee but apparently I need more space.
posted by Nshay @ 10:37 PM 6 comments
Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Miracles
Miracles So... i was in a car "accident". An emergency road side vehicle ran me off the road (ironic isn't it). Due to my driving prowess (modest), i avoided hitting any other vehicles and ended up against the guard rail. I walked away but my car....(well that's for another day). The guy who caused the accident was ( in a word) a JERK. He got the ticket but sadly my car (my baby) got the worst of everything else.You might think the miracle was walking away and it was... but the other miracle was more unexpectedSO my deductible was announced to be $1000.00, (who has that laying around). I was worried sick as time past and the days drew closer for me to pick up my car and pay my DEDUCTIBLE... On the last night, i beseeched GOD to drop a $1000 bux outta the sky! I (like most people) promised all manner of things to, if only HE would deliver me from my worry.....And lo and behold!The other drivers insurance company came out of No Where on the LAST day and stepped in to pay everything!!!
The moral of this anecdote:
Trust in GOD
(and write down everything you promised 'cause you might just have to do 'em all)
posted by Nshay @ 8:45 PM 0 comments
Monday, May 16, 2005

They say the grocery store is a great place to meet men...
It started at the Whole Foods on Ponce. I was my usual oblivious self when I noticed a beautiful chocolately male gazing at me over the fresh pizzas. *sigh* He was tall, dark and handsome (of course). Everywhere I was, he appeared: tasting (ok eating) the free spice cake, picking over priced drinks and watchin the kids make domes out of the free guacamole. *sigh*He made his move in the parking lot.
His stats: single, college educated, charming, employed and no children.
The attributes: beautiful smile (and all his teeth), in shape (enough), over six feet and smelling great
His name (and this a just a clue): Ch.........ba
We exchanged numbers and he called me that night and the conversation was tight until....
-he asked me for directions to my apartment-
For what (I innocently asked)
-why he wanted to come over and make me feel good of course-
But you don't know me
-this is the time for me to get to know you-
Well what do you mean make me feel good, you mean like sex??? (hey maybe I'm just getting this wrong)
-that and much more-
There's not much more to tell, Ch........ba was off the roster and I avoided his phone calls like the (uhmmm) plague.
I could have lectured him about the dumba$$ error of his ways but that would have just made him a better 'playa'.
posted by Nshay @ 8:12 PM 0 comments

Intro
Greetings World
About Me:
Single
DatingLiving in Atlanta today, Tallahassee yesterday and Philly a couple of days ago.
About my Blogg in three words:
Adventures in LIFE
THE GOOD
THE BAD
&
THE UGLY