I scream to keep from crying

I've been ranting about something for the past few weeks.

I think that I've been ranting to avoid - hurting about something for the past several weeks.

Someone once called me "overly moral" - is there such a thing? Because I was a little sad when a friend of mine started having sex (for the first time). What he (John) didn't understand was that my sadness for her - was due to all the responsibilities that come with having sex. There's birth control, safe sex and hoping that your partner is honest about or at least safe in his sex practices.

My rant these last few weeks comes courtesy of Cheyney University, or rather, the male students at Cheyney University.

For nearly a month, the male students at Cheyney University have maintained a drug addicted prostitute on campus; she performed sexual acts and received money.

Having been to Cheyney I know that anyone, not a student, must be maintained - meaning, there isn't McDonald's or WaWA or even a motel in walking distance. Every meal, every moment of sleep, every shower or anything had to be under the auspices of students - male students.

So, the story goes - she lived among the students, charging for sexual favors. At one point, it is said that she had a line of customers for blow jobs - for which she charged $5.

I can't really pinpoint the source of my pain, my hurt...

I don't know if its because they used her, passed her around and took advantage of her drug addicted state.

Perhaps its that - the prostitute was HIV positive. That she admitted to having unprotected sex with "at least 10" male students.

Maybe I hurt and I just want to be mad at these men.... these males who knowingly had unprotected sex with a drug addicted prostitute in the age of AIDS

I might be hurt for the girlfriends, 'baby mama's', finances, 'buddies', one nighters, or who ever else they'll have sex with...

I think that my ranting and raving is the protection I needed not to stare in the face of what WE are capable of, our stupidity and our cruelty